The Adventures of the SSOA
by sweet saturn
Summary: Crazy adventures involving Sailors Saturn, Venus, Mercury, and Jupiter aka the Sailor Senshi of America (SSOA). An evil, nameless, hentai villian is on the loose and wrecking havoc in Little Tokyo. It's up to the SSOA to stop him.
1. The Itchy, Etchi Grass

The Adventures of the Sailor Senshi of America

Episode 1: The Itchy Etchi Grass

(PG 13) By: sweet saturn  
  
It was just another beautiful day in Little Tokyo. Four girls were sitting in a little kawaii cafe' after school, drinking tea and gossiping, except for the short blue haired girl, who had her head buried in a text book.

"Ami! Get your head out of that text book, and join in the conversation!" said the tall, long brown haired girl, named Makoto. Ami though was too engrossed in what she was reading, that she didn't hear a thing Makoto had said, and coninued reading. Finally the average height, blonde haired girl, sitting next to Ami grabbed her book away from her and hit Ami on top of teh head with it before tossing it acros the table.  
  
"Ouch! Minako! Why on earth did you do that?! I was studying for our test next week and I'm only 45 chapters ahead!" exclaimed Ami.  
  
"Because you study to much Ami, that's why! You need to get out and enjoy life more," replied the rather short, violet haired girl next to Minako. "The test is only over the current chapter we are studying not, what's 45 chapters ahead."  
  
"Well you never know Hotaru, and ummm," said Ami looking for some excuse to continue studying. "I need to keep studying because if I'm not ahead then I won't be prepared for our finals and I might not score so well," she added while trying to get her book back. Unfortunately for her Minako quickly snatched the book away and refused to give it back to her.  
  
Meanwhile some nasty hentai villian was plotting on how to takeover the world (doesn't everyone want to?), and turn it into a nasty etchi world filled with disgusting hentai, in other words Hentai Land. This evil villian was now working to create some horrid hentai monster. He mixed miracle grow, grass, itching powder, and hentai together. With a poof of smoke a very tall clump of grass appeared appeared.  
  
"Hmmmm....what is this creation I have concocted?" said the rather idiotic nasty hentai villian, who then stupidly jumped into the grass to see it's effect instead of using one of his minions. "Ahhhhh," he shouted in agony as the grass engulfed him. Itchy red welts began to appear all over his skin, and then the grass began to do something extreamly nasty, which will not be mentioned due to the fact that this is NOT a hentai story. Finally he managed to escape the horrendous grass, and then set it loose to reek havoc amongst the people of Little Tokyo.  
  
"What the Hell is goin on here?!" demanded Minako.  
  
"I don't know!" cried Hotaru. Suddenly a something rather large came crashing down into the middle of the fountain. Minako, Ami, Hotaru and Makoto went over the fountain to investigate. They found a giant flying fish swimming around in it.  
  
Suddenly it spoke, "The time has come for you all to awaken as the Sailor Senshi of America!"  
  
"OH MY GOD THE FISH CAN TALK! THAT ISN'T RIGHT! NO WHERE DOES IT SAY THAT FISH CAN BE THIS HUGE AND HAVE WINGS, LET ALONE TALK!" Ami screamed hysterically.  
  
"Oh be quiet Ami, and let the fish talk!"exclaimed Makoto. "Now what were you saying about us being some sort of Sailors?" she said turning back towards the fish.  
  
"I said the time has come for you to awaken as the Sailor Senshi of America! I am Alfred, guardian of the American Senshi!" the fish replied.  
  
"Cool beans!" said Hotaru. With that the fish waved his fin, and in front of each senshi appeared a silver triangle brooch with a crystal rose made of a precious stone representing them embedded in it. A brooch with a sapphire rose appeared in front of Ami signifying her as Sailor Mercury, a brooch with a emerald rose appeared in front of Makoto signifying her as Sailor Jupiter, a brooch with a topaz rose appeared in front of Minako signifying her as Sailor Venus, and a brooch with an amethyst rose appeared in front of Hotaru signifying her as Sailor Saturn.  
  
"Now," the fish directed, "Say your planet's name then say Kawaii Power Make-Up!" So with that they all shouted their henshin phrase one after another and then shouted in unison, "American Sailor Senshi Kawaii Make- Up!"  
  
They then all struck a pose, and went into their little speeches.  
  
"I am Sailor Mercury and I stand for love and exams! I have a major exam which I am only 45 chapters ahead of next week and you're taking up the precious time I need for studying!" exclaimed Sailor Mercury.  
  
"I am Sailor Jupiter and I stand for love and good cooking! And whoever cooked you up must really suck at cooking!" shouted Sailor Jupiter.  
  
"I am Sailor Venus I stand for love and beauty! And you sure as Hell aren't beautiful!"  
  
"I am Sailor Saturn! I stand for love and destruction! And I'm gonna have to destroy you for trying to turn this beautiful clean hentai free land into a nasty etchi hentai filled land!" declared Sailor Saturn. With that she whipped out her Silence Glaive and shouted "Silence Glaive Slice!" She then spun her glaive and began neatly slicing the grass to shreds. When she was through she held her glaive,a nd admired her her work which she was very pleased with, but to her astonishment the grass regrew ten times taller. Suddenly a long blade of grass shot out and grabbed her. "Let go of me you etchi piece of shit!" she screamed furiously trying to free herself.  
  
"I'll help you out Saturn!" said Sailor Venus. "Venus Love and Beauty Shocram!" she cried flinging a heart-shaped shocram (which if you watch Xena you'd know it's a little circle frisebee like thing that is a blade). The shocram shredded the grass up, but to her and Saturn's annoyance the grass grew even taller.  
  
"You Baka!" Saturn shouted at Venus, as the grass quickly seized her (Venus), "You saw what happend when I shredded it, and then you do the exact same thing! All you did now was make it angrier, taller, and got yourself caught!"  
  
"Don't worry I'll save you guys!" Jupiter said, "Jupiter Thunder Crush!" The grass was then crushed to a pulp, but it stayed crushed for only a short moment, before seizing Jupiter. Meanwhile itchy red spots began to appear on the skin of Saturn, Venus, and quickly spread to Jupiter. Suddenly, being the etchi grass it was, began poking and pinching the three senshi.  
  
"Ow, Shit! Excuse you but that's private property right there!" exclaimed Saturn slicing the etchi blades of grass.  
  
"Ouch, what the Hell do you think your doing?! Get away from there!" screamed Venus in outrage shredding the etchi blades as well.  
  
"Ow! Damn it! Don't you dare go there!" shouted Jupiter crushing the etchi blades of grass.  
  
All the while Mercury had been scanning the grass with her computer and taking down notes from her observations, when suddenly the grass lunged for her causing her to drop her mini computer and lose her notes.  
  
"Now look what you've done you etchi piece of shit! Now I have to start all over! So you're going to have to pay! Mercury Soap Bubble Spray!" exclaimed Mercury blasting the grass with soap bubbles. "There that ought to clean you up!" she said satisfied, but as she was about to walk away she was quickly seized by the demonic grass. "Ahhhhhhhhh!!!" she screamed.  
  
Suddenly four figures appeared out of the mist.  
  
"Hey where'd all the mist come from anyways?" said Jupiter. "I dunno, maybe the author knows," said Venus, "Hey author where's all this mist coming from?"  
  
"IT'S COMING FROM THAT LITTLE BUCKET OF DRY ICE IN THE DEEP DARK CORNER WHICH NO ONE NOTICES UNLESS THEY LOOK REALLY CLOSELY. ALSO IT'S BEING HELD BY THAT ONE DUDE WHAT'S HIS NAME? OH YES, REMECIO!" replied the loud thunderous voice from above.  
  
"It's ROZARIO! And I better be getting paid for this!" shouted the guy in the dark cloak hiding in the corner whose name no one could remember. "WAIT A SECOND! I KNOW HIS NAME NOW IT'S........."said the loud thunderous voice from above pausing dramatically. The guy looked up hopefully. "RAFIKI!" she shouted with glee. Anime sweat drops appeared on everyone's head, the largest being on the guy in the dark cloak hiding in the corner's head, "OOPSIES WRONG SHOW!"  
  
"IT'S ROZARIO! ROZARIO I TELL YOU! GET IT THROUGH YOUR STUPID THICK SKULL!" the guy shouted throwing the bucket of dry ice down while jumping up and down.  
  
"I HEARD THAT! GUARDS GET ME A ROPE WITH A NOOSE!" exclaimed the loud thunderous voice from above.  
  
"Just a joke just a joke! All hail the all mighty and powerful author!" Remecio said panically while doing a stupid little dance.  
  
"OK GUARDS NEVERMIND!" said the loud thunderous voice from above. "RAHSERIO HERE IS MY SPECIAL EFFECTS PERSON WHO YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT. OK FORGET I JUST SAID THAT!" said the loud thunderous voice from above, "OH AND ABOUT YOUR PAYMENT! YOU DON'T GET ANYTHING! UNLESS YOU LIKE LINT WHICH I HAVE PLENTY OF, LINING MY POCKETS AS WELL AS THE LINT TRAP IN MY DRYER."  
  
"WHAT?! That's not fair! Not only does no one remember my name but now I have to do all this work for nothing except lint?!" the guy exclaimed. "You cheapskate lousy dumbass writer!" he muttered under his breath.  
  
"I HEARD THAT! GUARDS GET ME A WOODEN STAKE, SOME ROPE, AND A FIRE!" declared the loud thundrous voice from above.  
  
"Just a joke just a joke! All hail the all mightly and powerful author!" Remecio said panicking again while doing the same little stupid dance he was doing before.  
  
"NEVERMIND!" said the loud thunderous voice from above.  
  
"Ah'hem, pardon me but haven't you forgotten the most I mean four most important new characters? And shouldn't you be continuing the story instead of arguing with the dude who does the special effects?" said a really hot guy in black and violet armour.  
  
"QUIET! I AM THE ALL MIGHTY AND POWERFUL AUTHOR AND I CAN INTRODUCE AND FORGET YOU IF I WANT & WHEN I WANT! RIGHT NOW I'M IN AN ARGUEMENT WITH THE SPECIAL EFFECTS GUY SO IF YOU DON'T MIND CAN IT!" ordered the loud thunderous voice from above.  
  
"NOW BACK TO YOU, WHAT'S YOUR NAME? OH YES REMECIO..."  
  
"It's Rosario," corrected the guy.  
  
"YES YES YES, REMECIO, ABOUT YOUR SALARY, YOU DON'T GET ONE! YOU KNOW WHY BECAUSE YOU'RE AN ANIME CHARACTER I'M THE ALL MIGHTY AND POWERFUL AUTHOR YOU WORK FOR ME AND DO WHAT I TELL YOU TO BECAUSE I CONTROL ALL! YOU GOT THAT?! MWHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" she exclaimed as she gave an evil laugh.  
  
"Oh yes yes! All yield to the shiny head!" said Remecio without thinking.  
  
"DID YOU JUST SAY ALL YIELD TO THE SHINY HEAD?! I DON'T HAVE A SHINY HEAD, THOUGH I HAVE SHINY HAIR!"  
  
"Oh no I said all yield to the all mighty and powerful author with the shiny hair!" Remecio quickly replied while doing the stupid little dance, then he smacked himself and muttered,"Wrong line!"  
  
"OH I SEE. WELL NOW IT'S BACK TO THE STORY!" she added as she calmed down.  
  
"I still wanna know where all that mist came from!" demanded Jupiter.  
  
"Hey who are those four guys emerging from the mist?" asked Hotaru.  
  
"We're the SKOA and here to save the day!" announced a guy sitting on a tractor with a sword in hand.  
  
"Ok that was corny!" said the guy in blue and black armour.  
  
"DON'T QUESTION MY ATUHORITY!" shouted the loud thunderous voice from above.  
  
"Here we go again," said Venus rolling her eyes.  
  
"I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO ARGUE BECAUSE THIS STORY WILL NEVER GET FINISHED AND PLUS I HAVE AN ALGEBRA TEST TOMORROW! SO I'LL JUST DEAL WITH YOU ALL LATER! MWHAHAHAHHAHAHA!" she added.  
  
"I am Zagato, Saturn Knight, and leader of the SKOA (Sailor Knights of America) and this is Lantis in the blue, Rymin' Ryco better known as tractor man on the tractor, and Ferrio in the green."  
  
"I hope they don't go into long introductory speeches," said Mercury because I am really sick of being held captive by this itchy not to mention etchi grass.  
  
"I think they are," said Hotaru.  
  
Suddenly Lantis stepped forward, "I am Lantis, Venus Knight, and..." Before he could even get midway into his speech Venus interupted him and shouted, "Just shutup and save us!"  
  
"Ok," said the guys in unison as they shrugged their shoulders. So they quickly freed the senshi with their specially designed ithcy etchi grass cutting swords, and Tractor Man with his tractor as well.  
  
"Now what are we going to do about this itchiness! " demanded Jupiter as she scratched at the welts.  
  
"I know!" said Mercury, "Benedryl! $Cha-Ching$ (for all you who don't know I make this sound everytime I cash in by using products such as this in my story. Hey I need endorsement. It costs a lot to write fanfics these days!) And it always works and gets rid of the itchiness due to insect bites, or plants such as this grass!" Then Mercury pulled out a bottle of Benedryl, $CHA-CHING$ , applied it to her rash causing it to disappear, and then handed it to the other senshi who used it as well, and recieved the same results.  
  
The grass by now had completely freed itself from the ice and was heading directly towards the senshi and guys.  
  
"Now what are we going to do about the rest of that grass?" questioned Makoto.  
  
"I know what to do!" exclaimed Venus. She walked over to a pay phone, inserted the money, and dialed 1-800-Grass-Be-Gone. "Hello, this is me V, we got a seriously major bad problem with some itchy etchi grass! Send one of the guys out here immediately, we're in central Little Tokyo." Soon a truck with the words Exterminators printed on it's side along with company number drove up. A really cute guy stepped out and went over to Sailor Venus. He talked to her for a brief moment, and then left in the truck.  
  
Sailor Venus then turned to face the other senshi, "Now what we're supposed to do is use this new power we've got," she explained, "We have to join hands and shout Sailor Special Pesticide Attack, and then the grass will shrivel up and die. Got it ? "  
  
"Got it," replied Saturn, Mercury, and Jupiter in unison.  
  
"Ok we'll take it from here," said Saturn. The Senshi then joined hands.  
  
"Sailor," said Ami.  
  
"Special," said Saturn louder.  
  
"Pesticide," said Venus even louder.  
  
"Attack!" shouted Jupiter. A huge blast of pesticide was launched at the grass and hit it directly. The grass then shirveled up and died.  
  
"Damn it!" shouted the evil nasty hentai villian as he slammed his fist down on his throne, "Well next time I will be more prepared, and then after I eliminate those pesky senshi, hentai will rule! MGAGAGUCIYACAYA!!!" Meanwhile the senshi had detransformed and gone back to their tea and conversation, but this time they were accompanied by the four guys.  
  
"Hey wait a second!" said Rymin' Ryco stopping them. He quickly drew his sword and carved into a wall his sign. It looked like a "T" crossed over an "M".  
  
"Hey that's a pretty cool idea! Let's all do that!" Ferrio said prpeparing to imitate Tractor Man.  
  
"No you can't do that!" yelled Tractor Man.  
  
"Why not?" said Ferrio. "Because I'm the only one who does that and is sposed to do that plus it's like Zorro's only better, cuz I'm cool and Zorro sucks!"  
  
"Who says so?!"  
  
"I say so!"  
  
"Well I say who cares if you say so!" shouted Ferrio getting ready to carve his intials into the wall.  
  
"WELL EVERYBODY CARES IF I SAY SO CUZ I'M THE ALL MIGHTY AND POWERFUL AUTHOR AND WHAT I SAY GOES! MWHAHAHAHAHA!" So Ferrio and the other SKOA (with the exception of Tractor Man) didn't get to carve their intials into the wall, and they had to go home living with it. The SSOA on the other hand went home and lived happily ever after.  
  
THE END(for now)


	2. The Attack of the Eeeeevil Fungus

The Sailor Senshi of America Episode 2: The Attack of the Eeeeevil Fungus

(PG 13)

By: sweet saturn  
  
Disclaimer: Once again I do not own Sailor Moon and co.; they are creation of Naoko Takeuchi. Sailor No-Tan is mine though.  
  
It was yet another beautiful day in Little Tokyo. You would never expect that there was a mad evil hentai villian hiding in the midst of it, or that there were such powerful warriors living amongst such ordinary people. The SSOA (Sailor Senshi of America) were shopping at the local Dillards $CHA- CHING$ in the mall. There they discussed their new found powers and foe while shopping for shoes, and other items.  
  
Meanwhile, somewhere in another dimension hidden in the midst of Little Tokyo, the evil nasty hentai villian (who is still nameless) was forming an evil etchi scheme in his twisted, pathetic excuse for a mind. "I know!," he exclaimed, as he headed towards his lab. There he began mixing different chemicals and some type of fungus, until suddenly an explosion erupted, and lo and behold the result was a giant blob of eeeeevil fungus.  
  
"Mguggakicakayagua!!", he chuckled evily. He then set it loose to reek havoc amongst the people of Little Tokyo. Back at the mall the girls had just finished paying for their purchases, when they heard a loud commotion. Handing their bags to the guys (who had also come along on the shopping trip), they quickly rushed out to investigate. And what do you know there plopped straight in the middle of a rode was an evil disgusting blob of fungus devouring everything in it's path and growing larger by the nano second.  
  
"All right girls you know the routine," said Hotaru.  
  
"Wait a minute! Hey author you know what these brooches are nice and all, but they look absolutley dreadful with our fukus don't you think?"  
  
"Hmm...I agree with you Minako. So you want me to design new brooches or what?"  
  
"No, how about we have transformation pens instead?"  
  
"Ok, that's fine. I'm not gonna be original cuz I can't think of any transformation pens cooler than the Super/Crystal power pens!" said the author, speaking for once without the thunderous voice. With that each of the girls whipped out their transformation pens.  
  
"Saturn Kawaii Power Make-Up!  
  
"Jupiter Kawaii Power Make-up!  
  
"Venus Kawaii Power Make-up!  
  
"Mercury Kawaii Power Make-up!" shouted Hotaru, Makoto, Minako, and Ami.  
  
In a whirl of sparklies there appeared the four SSOA, Sailor Jupiter,Saturn,Mercury, and Venus!  
  
"Is there evil amoung us? I KNOW there is fungus amoung us!," declared Sailor Venus. She then fluffed her hair and said, "Look at my hair! It's just so pretty!"  
  
"Well mine is just perfect!" announced Sailor Saturn with a graceful toss of her hair.  
  
"Let's stop talkin' about our hair and kill that fungus!" exclaimed Sailor Mercury. "First we have to make our speeches to announce our entrance though," said Sailor Jupiter. "I am Sailor Jupiter! I am the soldier of love and the simple life of tea,cooking,and pretty things, and of course thunder! In the name of Jupiter I will punish you!"  
  
"I am Sailor Mercury! I am the soldier of love, exams, computers,smarts, and of course water! In the name of Mercury I will punish you!" "Oh come on can't you think of something more original? I mean that phrase 'In the name of so and so' has been so overused it's not even funny!"  
  
"QUIET!," exclaimed a thunderous voice from above, "THIS IS MY FANFIC SO WHAT I SAY GOES! SO CAN IT!"  
  
"Well sooooorrrrrrry I wouldn't have asked if I had know you'd react this way.  
  
"WELL IF YOU WERE STARVING TO DEATH & HAD NOTHING TO DRINK BUT DIET ROOTBEER YOU'D BE MIGHTY CROSS AND WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO THINK OF ANY BETTER LINE THAN THE OVERUSED ONE IN THE DUBBED VERSION OF SAILOR MOON TOO!" replied the thunderous voice sounding more cross than thunderous.  
  
The Author than began to write again, while listening to "Rashiku Ikimashou" aka the Super S ending song.  
  
"That's where that music is coming from!"said Venus.  
  
"Gee you think V-ba...."said Saturn.  
  
"Don't even think about SS!"added Venus in a don't-you-say-it-or-I-will- kill-you voice.  
  
"Let's just get back to the story!"said Mercury exasperatingly.  
  
"Ami's right!" added Jupiter. So the quarreling stopped and the story continued.  
  
"Hey I'm supposed to be the only soldier of love!" exclaimed Venus indignantly.  
  
"No you're not we all are! See look at the translation of Ai no Senshi it says soldiers of love! So see you're not the only one! You're the only soldier of love AND beauty!" replied an exasperated Saturn.  
  
"Oh I see! Thanks for clearin' that up for me SS!"  
  
"No prob V-babe!"  
  
"Don't call me that!" shouted Venus as she hit Saturn.  
  
"Ow! Geez you don't have to spaz out V-babe," said Saturn whacking Venus with her silence glaive. This time she blocked the oncoming attack with her silence glaive.  
  
"Will you two quit squabbling, and finish your speeches! For in case you haven't noticed, there is a fungus among us that we have to kill!" exclaimed Jupiter.  
  
"All righty then," said Venus, "I am Sailor Venus! I represent love, beauty, teen idols, shopping, and match making! In the name of Venus I will eliminate you!"  
  
"ORIGINAL ENOUGH?!"  
  
"It'll do," Mercury said.  
  
"I am Sailor Saturn! I represent love, sweetness, silence, death, and destruction! In the name of Saturn I will destroy you!" The senshi began to finally attack the eeeeevil fungus, after finishing their speeches, as "Ai no Senshi" began to play.  
  
"Mercury Ultra Data Blast!" shouted Mercury. With that she pressed one key of her mini computer blasting the eeeeevil fungus, but this was no ordianary fungus for it was an eeeeevil fungus. The eeeeevil fungus was stunned by the attack and blown up and sent flying into all directions. Then it slowly pulled itself back together.  
  
"Oh my God! I hope it's not in my hair! Is it?!" cried Venus.  
  
"It's not V-babe! NOW KILL IT!" screamed Mercury. Venus quickly nodded, and then shouted "Venus Teen Idol Shriek!" Then she let out an ear-piercing high "c" shattering glass everywhere along with the eeeeevil fungus.  
  
"V, you're supposed to shatter the fungus not every single piece of glass in the world!" said Jupiter sharply while slowly taking her hands off her ears.  
  
"Sorry I got carried away," said Venus. Then she whacked Mercury really hard, and shouted, "DON'T CALL ME V-BABE!!" Meanwhile glass makers and repairers where busy all around the world creating new glass as well as repairing the broken glass.  
  
"OH MY GOD I DON'T BELIEVE IT! THE FUNGUS IS BACK AND IT HAS THE QUEEN OF FUNGUS WITH IT!" screamed Mercury.  
  
"No wait a minute! Look closely Ami, it's just Sailor Pluto, Guardian of Time!"said Saturn.  
  
"Oh I see now Hotaru-chan! Hehe! Hiya Plut!"said Mercury.  
  
"Hey Plut!" said Saturn waving at Sailor Plut.  
  
"Nice to see ya Plut!" said Jupiter.  
  
"How's it goin' Plut?" said Venus.  
  
"Konnichi wa," replied Plut, "Just what exactly am I doing here? And why on earth is everyone calling me Plut?!"  
  
"SORRY PLUT BUT YOU DON'T BELONG IN THIS FANFIC SO BYE BYE YOU GO!" said the thunderous voice from above, and with that Sailor Plut vanished. All of a sudden the eeeeevil fungus reappeared, and with it the Queen of Fungus, who looked very much like Queen Beryl with stringy green hair, a mushroom crown, and a gown made of fungus.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHH THE FUNGUS IS BACK AND IT HAS THE QUEEN OF FUNGUS WITH IT!" screamed Ami. "AND SHE'S NOT FASHIONABLE CLOTHES! AHHHHHH! WHAT'S THE WORLD COMING TO?! WHERE ARE THE FASHION POLICE WHEN YOU NEED THEM?!" screamed Venus.  
  
"I'll take care of it! Jupiter Boiling Tea Cyclone!" shouted Jupiter sending a gigantic cyclone of boiling tea hurling at the eeeeevil fungus melting it into a puddle of goo.  
  
"My turn now!" exclaimed Saturn, "Saturn Burning Silence!" With that a blinding blaze of black and violet flames was hurling towards the Queen of Fungus. Then the blast hit her burning her into an oblivion, but since this was no ordinary fungus this was the Queen of Fungus, she managed to put herself together (though not in the best form) as well as the eeeeevil fungus.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHH THEY KEEP PUTTING THEMSELVES BACK TOGETHER! WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?!" exclaimed Mercury hysterically.  
  
"What we always do,"said Jupiter.  
  
"What's that?" asked Mercury.  
  
"Wait for the author to give us some cool attack that'll kill off the eeeeevil fungus and the Queen of Fungus, or wait till the author puts in some new character to save the day," answered Saturn.  
  
"Hey who's that albino kid across the street?" asked Venus. The albino looking kid was about average height,with white hair slightly past her shoulders,pale white skin, with pink eyes, wearing white jean overalls, a white t-shirt, white socks, and white tennis shoes. She quickly sprinted across the street just as the eeeeevil fungus and Queen of Fungus were coming towards the senshi.  
  
"Stop right there!" she commanded and the eeeeevil fungus and Queen of Fungus just stood there shocked by that this albino kid was trying to tell them what to do. "I am Hayley, better known as Sailor No Tan and I order you to go back to your evil kingdom of Fungai and leave us and the rest of the world alone!" she declared, and with that she whipped out a transformation pen exactly like the other senshi's, except that it was silver where the others were gold and white wherever there was any other color.  
  
"No Tan Kawaii Power Make-up!" she shouted holding up her pen, she then transformed in a blaze of bright white light and was dressed in a fuku that was exactly like the other senshi's, except that it was all white. Suddenly she disappeared from sight. "Hey where'd she go?" said Venus.  
  
"Here I am!," came the voice of the invisible Sailor No Tan, "I am Sailor No Tan! I stand for love and all the people who don't have or can't get a tan! Pale Peaches Blast!" she shouted. Suddenly a blast of pale peaches (what'd you expect, flying monkeys?) slammed into the eeeeevil fungus and the Queen of Fungus destroying them both. Then all the senshi detransformed, and Sailor No Tan was once again visible and then welcomed by the SSOA.


	3. The Battle for the Cookies

The Sailor Senshi of America Episode 3: The Battle for the Cookies

(PG 13)

By: sweet saturn

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So whadidja think of this one?! I know I know it has nothing to do with the evil nasty nameless hentai villian, but I thought the SSOA could use a brief change of enemies. Thanx to my best buds Ab (Rach) and V (Tama) for sendin me the note that inspired me to write this story and my last one! What would I do w/out you both?! And of course standard disclaimer I don't own these characters of Sailor Moon and they belong to the talented Naoko Takeuchi! I'm just borrowin' 'em for the time being, so all u ppl that are involved w/ SM DON'T sue me or if you decided to be stupid and go on ahead and sue me then you won't get anything but lint!   
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It was just another beautiful day in Little Tokyo.  
  
"Hey can't you be more original? Does it always have to a beautiful day, I mean don't we have like weather changes or anything?" inquired Makoto.  
  
"DON'T QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ! THE WEATHER WILL BE WHAT I WANT IT TO BE! IF I WANT IT TO BE A BEAUTIFUL DAY EVERYDAY IT WILL BE! IF I SAY IT WILL BE A DARK,DREARY,AND RAINY DAY THEN IT WILL BE!" said the thunderous voice from above. The author took a quick sip from her can of _regular_ rootbeer from her newfound stash, and began to type again.  
  
The girls were at the library studying for an upcoming exam. After a what seemed like hours, Ami announced, "It's snack time!" She brought out a big bag of cookies.  
  
"Ok, I'm done studying," said Minako as she closed her text book.  
  
"Done," added the rest of the girls except Ami, who was still pouring over her textbook while eating cookies.  
  
"Hey are those cookies?" asked Hotaru peering into the bag, and indeed the items within were cookies.  
  
"Me want cookie now!" shouted Minako, not caring that she was breaking the number one rule in the library "No shouting."  
  
Ami quickly thought for a moment then answered, "Umm...OH NO! AHHHHH...The eeeeevil fungus is back and it has the Queen of Fungus with it!"  
  
"No it isn't! That's just a book on fungus and the librarian!" replied Minako.  
  
"Ok, I think you better hand the cookies over!" said Hotaru.  
  
"Ummm...THE ALIENS ARE ATTACKING! THE ALIENS ARE ATTACKING!" screamed Ami.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" screamed all the girls. Then they quickly took a breath and started screaming "AHHHH" yet again.  
  
"Where?!" demanded Makoto.  
  
"Over there!" said Ami pointing to a mass of squiggly lines, "Follow the squiggly lines!" The girls followed the squiggly lines until finally after hours of endlessly wandering they finally reached the area where the aliens were attacking, which happend to be Central Little Tokyo.  
  
"Ami I thought we'd never get here!" exclaimed Minako, "Next time we follow MY directions!"  
  
"I can't help it I have no sense of direction!" retorted Ami.  
  
"Ok, where is that alien?!" demanded Hayley.  
  
"Don't you think we should transform before we battle these aliens?" said Makoto.  
  
"Oh yeah! That's a good idea, after all it wouldn't be good to start fighting aliens when we don't have our powers to use!" said Ami.  
  
"Just transform!" ordered Makoto. With that each of the girls whipped out her transformation pen and held it up high.  
  
"No Tan Kawaii Power Make-Up!"  
  
"Mercury Kawaii Power Make-Up!"  
  
"Saturn Kawaii Power Make-Up!"  
  
"Jupiter Kawaii Power Make-UP!"  
  
"Venus Kawaii Power Make-Up!" the girls shouted as they transformed into the five powerful heroines known as the SSOA!  
  
"Yayyyy I got to transform second and you, V, had to transform last!" said Mercury in a singsong voice.  
  
"So you'll always be number two!" snapped Venus.  
  
"Well at least I'm not last!" retorted Mercury.  
  
"Will you two quit arguing about who transformed first so we can kill the aliens?!" said Jupiter in an exasperated tone of voice.  
  
"Ok fine," replied both Venus and Mercury.  
  
"Haha! I got to talk first and you had to talk second so I'm better than you!" said Venus smugly.  
  
"Well at least I got to transform second instead of last!" replied Mercury. Jupiter then walked up to both Mercury and Venus and smacked them both upside the head at the same time, and said  
  
"There now you both are even! So can it!"  
  
"Ok, NOW where are the aliens?!" demanded Sailor No Tan. Suddenly a little purple alien appeared behind Sailor Venus.  
  
"V-Babe... behind you!" screamed Sailor Mercury. The little purple alien jumped onto Sailor Venus's back and yelled, "I want cookie! Give me cookie!"  
  
"You butt don't mess my fuku up! AND DON'T CALL ME V-BABE!" Sailor Venus exclaimed as she shook the alien off. She then blasted the little purple alien, but missed. The little purple alien once again jumped on her back and began riding it shouting  
  
"Give me cookie!" Suddenly he spotted the bag of cookies Sailor Mercury was holding, and said "Ooooo...you gots cookie! GIVE ME COOKIE!"  
  
"AHHHHHH!!!" screamed Sailor Mercury. "I don't have cookies," she said. Then she looked at the bag of cookies in her hand then quickly tossed them to Sailor Venus and said "She has cookies!"  
  
"NO NO! I DON'T GOT 'EM!" shouted Venus, who in turn tossed the cookies to Sailor Jupiter.  
  
"Hey!" Sailor Jupiter exclaimed as she caught them. As the little purple alien lunged for her, she quickly tossed the cookies to Sailor Saturn, who threw them to Sailor No Tan. Who threw them to Chibi-Usa, who somehow magically appeared and ate the cookies.  
  
"BAKA!" shouted Sailor Saturn, Jupiter, Mercury,Venus, and No Tan at Chibi- Usa. Chibi-Usa began wailing incredibly loudly, "WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"  
  
"Ok they are MY COOKIES!" shouted the little purple alien. Then he shouted, "RAAAAAAA!"  
  
"The little purple alien goes "Raaa!" The raaa goes "Alien" RAAA...no wait ALIEN!"  
  
"Author that makes no sense whatsoever!" said Sailor No Tan.  
  
"QUIET! I AM THE ALL MIGHTY AND POWERFUL AUTHOR EVERYTHING I SAY MAKES PERFECT SENSE!"  
  
"Aliens are dumbbutts!" declared Chibi-Usa.  
  
"No I'm not!" shouted the little purple alien.  
  
"Yes you are! And I got your cookies so ehhhhhh!" shouted Chibi-Usa sticking her tounge out while pulling down one of her lower eyelids.  
  
"Well..." said the little purple alien as he thought for a moment. Then he quickly forgot whatever it was he was thinking and ate Chibi-Usa. There was a long dramatic pause so all the members of C.U.R.E., the SSOA(except Jupiter), and the people of the world could cheer.  
  
"Nobody eats my pal! Spit her up or feel my wrath!" shouted Sailor Jupiter.  
  
"Mwhahahah no one can stop me!" cackled the little purple alien. "Oh that does it!" said Jupiter, but before she could launch the attack Sailor Saturn shouted, "HEY MAKO STOP!" Jupiter stopped, and listened to what Sailor Saturn had to say.  
  
"It's Chibi-Usa that he ate! Remember she's that annoying pink haired brat that we all hate so much? So see that's a good thing that the little purple alien ate her." explained Sailor Saturn.  
  
"Oh!" said Sailor Jupiter who then began cheering with the rest of the world.  
  
After the cheering stopped Sailor No Tan then asked, "So what are we gonna do about the little purple alien? Are we gonna let it live and continue to reek havoc? After all he did eat Chibi-Usa, but then again he's evil and wants to eat all the cookies."  
  
"We can't let him live! He'll eat all the cookies if we do!" exclaimed Sailor Saturn.  
  
"Hungry Hungry! Want cookie!" shouted the little purple alien.  
  
"Oooo cookie!," he said as he ate Sailor Saturn's Silence Glaive which caused her to become extremely angry.  
  
"YOU DUMBASS ALIEN THAT WAS MY SILENCE GLAIVE NOT A COOKIE! YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO PAY FOR THAT!" she screamed, "SATURN BURNING SILENCE!" The little purple alien just swallowed her attack which caused her to become even more angry. He did the same when all the other senshi tried their attacks. Suddenly four figures appeared out of nowhere dressed in fukus exactly like the SSOA's but different colors.  
  
"I am Sailor Sun! Most popular senshi used in fanfics! As the leader of the FSOA and in the name of the sun I will punish you!" said a tall girl with short crimped blonde hair dressed in a bright yellow and white sailor fuku.  
  
"I am Sailor Earth and I am the most popular senshi used in fanfics! Oh by the way I am the leader of the FSOA NOT Sailor Sun! In the name of the earth I will punish you!" said a girl with long wavy brown hair dressed in a green and white sailor fuku.  
  
"No you're not! I am!" exclaimed Sailor Sun.  
  
"No you only WISH you were!" replied Sailor Earth. The two girls got into a massive catfight, while the two others made their entrance speeches.  
  
"I am Sailor Cosmetics! I represent make-up itself, and all beauty products, and am a friend to all models and make-up and beauty product users! In the name of cosmetics I will punish you!" shouted the girl with long wavy strawberry blonde hair dressed in a biege and white fuku.  
  
"And I am Sailor Slut! The fave senshi of all guys and hentai freaks and the fourth member of the FSOA! I stand for sex, sex, and more sex! In the name of sex I will punish you!" said the girl with long wavy turqouise hair wearing a really tight,slutty looking, super low cut, purple,blue, and pink fuku which looked exactly like Sailor Heavy Metal Papillon's fuku. Suddenly a large group of etchi guys rushed up to her and began kneeling and bowing before her saying, "Punish us!" She instantly cracked a whip and said "Call me your Queen and worship me!"  
  
"Who let her in the FSOA?!" demanded Sailor No Tan. Sailor Sun and Earth by this time had finally stopped fighting when they noticed Sailor Slut.  
  
"Nobody, she just appeared when we got here." said Sailor Earth.  
  
"Shouldn't she be working for the nameless evil nasty hentai villian?" said Sailor Mercury who like the others were much disgusted with Sailor Slut.  
  
Suddenly a giant fireball was hurled at Sailor Slut, and then she was no more. Her worshippers were no longer there either, for they had been burnt to a crisp along with Sailor Slut. The world suddenly became a much better place. A short little girl with slightly long, wavy flaming red hair, tied up in a pair of pigtails, jumped down from the top the wall she was standing on and declared, "I am Sailor Pyrofreak! I am the REAL fourth member of the FSOA! I represent fire, and am the friend and protector of all pyro maniacs and arsonists! In the name of fire I will punish you!

"Hey! It's about time you all got here!" said Sailor No Tan.  
  
"You know these people?" asked Sailor Jupiter.  
  
"Sure do!" replied Sailor No Tan.  
  
"Sailor No Tan, is the leader of the FSOA, the Fan Senshi of America, NOT Sailor Sun or Earth!" added Sailor Pyrofreak.  
  
"So now let's kick some alien butt!" said Sailor Cosmetics.  
  
"There's just one slight problem," said Sailor Venus.  
  
"What's that?" asked Sailor Earth.  
  
"THE DAMN ALIEN KEEPS EATING ALL OUR ATTACKS!" shouted Sailor Saturn.  
  
"Oh, that is a problem," said Sailor Sun.  
  
"Well what are we gonna do?" asked Sailor Mercury.  
  
"Wait for the author to do something of course," said Sailor Jupiter.  
  
"Well author do something!"  
  
"ALRIGHT AMI! I'M THINKIN'! I'M THINKIN'! AWWWW MY ROOTBEER CAN IS EMPTY!"  
  
"Will you quit thinking about your rootbeer and think of a way to save us... I mean have us save the day?!"  
  
"OK OK! I GOT THE POINT AMI! AH HA I HAVE A PLAN!" And with that the author began putting her plan into action.  
  
"Ah ha! I have an idea!" said Sailor Pyrofreak as a little light bulb went off on the top of her head. "Get every single cookie you can find and bring them all here!" she ordered. So each of the senshi went off to gather all the cookies they could find. The result was billions no trillions no zillions..  
  
"There's no such thing as trillions and zillions!"  
  
"SHUTUP AMI! I'M THE AUTHOR NOT YOU SO IF I SAY TRILLIONS AND ZILLIONS EXIST THEY DO!" The result was billions, no trillions, no zillions of cookies. The little purple alien greedily goobled them all up and soon became very large and ill.  
  
"Burp! Oooooo too much cookie! Me no feel good." said the overstuffed little purple alien, and with that he burst into an oblivion.  
  
"Glad we got that problem solved," said Sailor Jupiter.  
  
"Here's you're Silence Glaive," said Sailor Pyrofreak picking up and then handing Sailor Saturn her Silence Glaive back.  
  
"Ewwww,"grimaced Sailor Saturn as she looked at her Silence Glaive covered with alien goo and spit.  
  
"Thanks but no thanks, just leave it there. It's not my best or favorite glaive anyways," replied Sailor Saturn pushing it back.  
  
"Whatever you say," said Sailor Pyrofreak as she dropped it back on the ground. The senshi then detransformed and headed back to the library to study with their new comrades, this time following _Minako's _directions.


	4. The Meeting

The Sailor Senshi of America Episode 4: The Meeting

(PG 13)

By: sweet satun

--------------------------------

As you all know I don't own Sailor Moon & co. & all the standard disclaimers apply. Tell me what you think. PLEASE I really want feedback. Feel free to make suggestions, comments, and compliments.

---------------------------------  
  
It was yet another bright and beautiful day in Little Tokyo. The SSOA were just settling down to lunch when all of a sudden a loud beeping noise was heard.  
  
"Where is that stupid noise coming from?!" demanded an irritated Makoto.  
  
"It sounds like somebody's trying to page us," said Ami. As soon as those words were out of Ami's mouth, a kawaii little object appeared on each of the senshi's wrist, each in it's senshi's color. The object was a star shaped compact on a wristband , which was actually a communicator.  
  
"These are just sooooooo kawaii!" exclaimed Minako.  
  
"Let's just open them and see who's paging us, if it isn't important the person's gonna be really sorry they interupted our lunch hour!" said Hotaru, as she opened her communicator up. Each of the other girls did the same. They each found to their suprise Alfred the flying fish they met in the very beginning was the one paging them.  
  
"Hey it's about time you remembered me! I'd forgotten all about these until now! If it weren't for these I'd probably die from starvation! You're supposed to meet with me daily, discuss your newfound powers, and most importantly FEED ME! But noooooo, nobody remembered poor Alfred! You were all busy discovering new powers, senshi, and battling evil to worry about poor me. You couldn't even stop by to drop in a few nice pieces of cherry pie or even dump some fish food in here! If it weren't for the few water bugs that ocassionally landed in the fountain I would've starved to death!" scolded Alfred.  
  
"Ok, what kind of fish eats cherry pie?" asked Makoto.  
  
"I do!" exclaimed Alfred, "I'm not just any ordinary fish you know. I'll have you know that I am a giant, talking, and flying fish who also happens to be your guardian whom you 've seem to totally have forgotten for 2 whole episodes!"  
  
"Well it wasn't our fault, we didn't feed you. It's the author's fault for not having us feed you, so yell at her not us!"  
  
"Hey author! How come you didn't have the senshi come by and feed me?!"  
  
"UMMMMM......BECAUSE I FORGOT! I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I'VE HAD A LOT OF STUFF ON MY MIND AND THINGS TO DO! SO DON'T EXPECT ME TO ALWAYS REMEMBER TO HAVE YOU FED! BESIDES YOU'RE A FLYING FISH, WHY CAN'T YOU FLY OUT OF THAT FOUNTAIN AND GET YOURSELF SOMETHING TO EAT?!" said the thunderous voice from above, which belonged to a very irritable sweet saturn.  
  
"Well because you never had me do that! Remember you're the author who controls everything! I can't fly out and get something to eat unless you put it in the story that I do!" snapped Alfred.  
  
"Oh,well,uhhhhh....heh...." said a very sheepish sweet saturn as a very large anime sweatdrop appeared on her head, "Sorry I didn't think about that 'til now."  
  
"Hey, you lost your loud thunderous voice as well as your capitals," pointed out Ami.  
  
"What?! Oh. I MEAN, OH! THANKS FOR POINTING THAT OUT." said sweet saturn once again remembering her capitals and her thunderous voice.  
  
"Well what are you going to do about my situation?!" demanded Alfred.  
  
"WILL YOU HUSH UP! IF YOU'D BE QUIET, I'D ACTUALLY HAVE THE CHANCE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT! SO CAN IT!" snapped the loud thunderous voice from above.  
  
"Hmph!" replied Alfred.  
  
"Oh, poor Alfred! We're sorry we forgot to feed you! We'll be over there in a few minutes," said Minako. "And I'll bring over the dozen cherry pies I just finished baking," added Makoto, as she pulled out the dozen fresh cherry pies she had just finished baking. "Hey, since when did I bake these cherry pies anyways? I don't remember baking them," said Makoto.  
  
"SINCE NOW! IF I SAY YOU JUST BAKED A DOZEN CHERRY PIES THEN YOU DID! BY THE WAY THINKING AND SPEAKING OF CHERRY PIE MAKES ME HUNGRY! BREAKFAST BREAK!" replied the thunderous voice from above. "OK BACK!" announced the thunderous voice from above after a few minutes.  
  
"That was quick," said Minako, "And by the way isn't it supposed to be lunch time?"  
  
"IT'S LUNCH TIME FOR YOU AND BREAKFAST FOR ME! AND I DID NOT EAT BREAKFAST THAT QUICK! I JUST BROUGHT IT OVER TO THE COMPUTER SO I COULD EAT AND TYPE AT THE SAME TIME!," said the loud thunderous voice from above inbetween bites of her Kellogs Nutri Grain Strawberries and Cream Twists bar. $CHA- CHING$ "HADN'T DONE THAT IN A LONG TIME! I'M RUNNIN' LOW ON CASH SO IT'S ONCE AGAIN TIME FOR ENDORSEMENTS!" she added, "Now back to the story!"  
  
The girls quickly gathered the pies together, putting each in a Ziplock bag, $CHA-CHING$ and then placed them all together in one big bag, and headed toward Central Tokyo to visit Alfred. When they returned from feeding Alfred, they each found in their individual breifcases, an invitation to a ball held by one of the most popular guys in school, Saphire.  
  
"Hey wait a minute! I thought Saphire was dead," said a slightly puzzled Minako.  
  
"NO HE ISN'T!" exclaimed the thunderous voice from above. "YOU WANNA KNOW WHY?! BECAUSE THIS MY WORLD WHERE WE DO THINGS MY WAY! AND IF I SAY SAPHIRE IS REALLY VERY HOT AND ALIVE AND WELL, THEN YOU BETTER AGREE WITH ME! BECAUSE I AM THE ALL MIGHTY AND POWERFUL AUTHOR, SO EHHH! DON'T EVER QUESTION MY AUTHORITY AGAIN!" she added.  
  
"So who are you going with to the ball?" Ami asked Hotaru.  
  
"That really really hot guy named Zagato, and what about you?" replied Hotaru.  
  
Ami blushed, and then answered, "That cute and sweet guy named Ferrio."  
  
Meanwhile Makoto asked Minako the exact same question. Minako then answered, "That oh so hot guy named Lantis!" replied Minako.  
  
"Well I'm going with that absolutly adorable guy named Rymin' Ryco," declared Makoto.  
  
(Note: Sorry that I didn't follow the tradition of using the guys from BSSM, but you gotta admit the guys from MKR are way hotter and better than the guys from BSSM! Also I couldn't resist using Rymin Ryco (Jr.) , he's perfect for Mako! .)  
  
The evening of the ball finally came, and the SSOA were all over at Hotaru's house preparing for the ball.  
  
The girls were finishing the final touches to their ensemble. Each was dressed in a lovely gown of silk and satin designed by Disney. $CHA-CHING$  
  
(Note: Can't help but love the Disney dresses! .)  
  
Hotaru was wearing a dress resembling that of Snow White's, Ami's dress resembled that of Cinderella's, Makoto's resembled that of Belle's (from Beauty and the Beast), and Minako's resembled that of Aurora's (from Sleeping Beauty).  
  
"Look at my shoes! They are just so cool and they're made of glass!" exclamed Ami ecstatically as twirled around in her new glass slippers while showing them off.  
  
"Well mine are made of satin and they have little bows on them!" said Hotaru in reply to Ami as she displayed her lovely satin shoes.  
  
"Well my shoes maybe plain but they're made of silk, are yellow, and match my dress!" added Makoto as she lifted her skirts above her ankles showing her yellow silk shoes.  
  
"So are mine!" exclaimed Minako. "Except they're blue!" she added.  
  
Suddenly the doorbell rang, interupting their dispute over shoes. The girls hurridly flew down the stairs and made a mad dash for the door, Ami with her nose stuck in a book. She then interupted the race by saying,"According to my book on dating we're supposed to wait." The girls stopped dead in their tracks.  
  
"!#$$%!&&!#!%!" exclaimed the senshi, colliding into each other, then falling into a heap at the bottom of the stairs. They quickly got up dusted themselves off, and regained their composure.  
  
"Let's play it cool girls," said Hotaru smoothly as they walked up the staircase. The girls walked back up the staircase and into Hotaru's room.  
  
"Ok, now what do we do?" asked Minako. Ami after consulting her book, looked up and said, "Hotaru you're dad's supposed answer the door."  
  
"Oh," said Hotaru as she walked across the room and stuck her head out the door. She then shouted at the top of her lungs,thinking Ami had said phone not door, "DAD CAN YOU ANSWER THE PHONE?!" Professor Tomoe who was by now used to this, sat calmly and comfortably on the couch while reading the newspaper, as objects were flying to and fro.  
  
He replied calmly as ever, "Honey, the phone's not ringing."  
  
"Oh," said Hotaru as she put her head back inside the room.  
  
"Hotaru, I said door not phone," corrected Ami.  
  
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh," said Hotaru. She quickly took a deep breath and stuck her head out the door once more and shouted even louder, "DAD CAN YOU ANSWER THE DOOR?!" Basically the whole house was blown away except for the frame,door,the staircase, the upper floor and rooms, and of course Professor Tomoe himself, his newspaper, and couch.  
  
"Sure," he replied still calm, with not a hair even toussled, folded his newspaper, got up from the couch, and answered the door.  
  
"They're upstairs and should be down in a moment," he said allowing the dumbstruck boys to enter what remained of the house.  
  
"Does....this always happen?" asked Lantis.  
  
"Oh, all the time," replied Professor Tomoe dismissing the question with a careless wave of his hand. "But you get used to it. Watch this," he said as he pressed a little button. The house automatically began repairing itself, and in a few minutes was back to it's original form. "I've created a program for our house which allows it to adapt to and rebuild itself in any condition, wether it be a hurricane or just Hotaru's regular shouting," he added smugly.  
  
"Wow," was all the guys could think of to say.  
  
The girls then appeared one by one, and gracefully descended down the staircase.  
  
"We didn't even hear you come in," said Makoto sweetly. The girls each paired up with their dates and were escorted to their personal horse drawn carriages. They quickly arrived at the manor where the ball was being held, and quickly set about dancing and having fun.  
  
Meanwhile the nameless evil hentai villian, who we have not heard from in so long, was plotting on how to capture the SSOA, destroy them, and takeover the world, turning it into an etchi evil place filled with hentai. After several hours of serious thinking, he came up with a plan.  
  
Back at the party the SSOA girls had just met up with the FSOA girls and were having a nice chat about all the many ways to destroy evil and save the world, when suddenly four demonic looking youma with several large tenticles, sent by the evil hentai viilian, burst through the walls. "All right girls you know the routine!" said Ami. The girls all nodded and whipped out their transformation pens.  
  
"Saturn Kawaii Power..." said Hotaru.  
  
"Jupiter Kawaii Power..."said Makoto.  
  
"Mercury Kawaii Power..." said Ami.  
  
"Venus Kawaii Power..." said Minako.  
  
"No Tan Kawaii Power..."said Hayley.  
  
"Pyrofreak Kawaii Power..."said Heather.  
  
"Cosmetic Kawaii Power..."said Nerissa.  
  
"Sun Kawaii Power..."said Sabrina.  
  
"Earth Kawaii Power..."said Kristen.  
  
"Make-up!" shouted the girls in unison as they completed the final stage of their transformations. They all struck dramatic and glamourous poses, announced their arrival with kawaii speeches, then began to attack the youma, but to no prevail. The youma each snatched up one of the SSOA and carried them off to the secret headquarters of the evil hentai villian. There they were each bound to a stiff, stone, high back chair. Suddenly they noticed a figure hidden within the shadows.  
  
"Welcome," said an icy voice which could only belong to the evil hentai villian,"I've been looking forward to this day for a very long time."  
  
"Ha! Just because you've captured us doesn't mean that you've won the war!" shouted Makoto as she spat at the figure.  
  
"Yeah and if you're so great, why don't you show yourself?!" demanded Minako. "Very well then, replied the icy voice. As the figure stepped out of the shadows they noticed he was also holding and stroking a very familiar yellow animal that kept repeating the word "Pika". They were the two figures that struck fear into the hearts of people everywhere, it was "GASP" Rubeus and Pikachu!  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" screamed the SSOA. It was a scream that exceded even Venus's "Teen Idol Shriek", it was a painful thing to listen to, and it made your blood run cold for it was a scream of fear, pure fear like no one had ever known.  
  
"CAN IT ALREADY!" exclaimed Rubeus. The senshi soon stopped, knowing that screaming would get them no where, and that only using their intelligence would get them out of this mess if not the FSOA or their boyfriends.  
  
"Now, that you've all settled down. It's time I become a gracious host and present you with some entertainment," said Rubeus as he set the Pikachu on a nearby chair, and then uncovered a rather large T.V. The girls all gasped for they knew what they were going to be forced to watch repeatedly......POKEMON EPISODES AND MOVIES. "Judging by your expressions of horor I see you've already guessed my little suprise," said a sinister Rubeus. With that he turned on the T.V. and the torture began. After what seemed like an eternity which actually was only a few hours the T.V. was switched off. The senshi all heaved a giant sigh of relief, but this brief moment of peace was shortly lived. "Also for your entertainment I am going to read to you terribly written, detailed, and disgusting hentai fanfics! Mgyukckgagkayiguika!" he chuckled evily, as he began reading.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" screamed all the senshi.  
  
Meanwhile the FSOA were confering with the SKOA (Sailor Knights of America) about how to rescue the SSOA while still trying to lock in their coordinates. All this was to no prevail, so they all had to return to their homes in hopes that the next day would bring better results. A week went by without any results. Finally on Saturday evening they were able to pinpoint the coordinates of the evil hentai villian's headquarters.  
  
"Come on guys let's go!" ordered Zagato. He as well as the other SKOA quickly transformed and doing what most guys do rushed off to save the day without even having a plan.  
  
"Hey! Wait for us!" shouted Sabrina after them.  
  
"Typical guys," said Nerissa.  
  
"How rude!" exclaimed Heather.  
  
"Well might as well go after them, they're gonna end up getting captured or something like that," said Kristen thoughtfully.  
  
"All then let's get to it!" ordered Hayley. The girls quickly transformed and raced after the guys.  
  
Meanwhile the guys had already reached the headquarters, and had just broken down the door.  
  
"I am Zagato better known as Saturn Knight and I order you to set these beautiful innocent sailor senshi free or you'll have me and the rest of the SKOA to deal with!" The other knights just nodded in agreement. Rubeus began cracking up instantly.  
  
"The SKOA," he said inbetween laughs, "That's the stupidest thing I have ever heard of! First the SSOA! Then FSOA! And now the SKOA! I swear you all are the biggest bunch of losers I've ever seen!" The SKOA being as macho and full of pride as all guys of course quickly resorted to violence, and attempted to beat the crap out of Rubeus, but were stopped by his Pikachu's electric shock attack.  
  
"Take them to the brainwashing room, and fill their heads with plenty of etchi thoughts," Rubeus ordered the four youmas standing nearby. With that they guys were dragged off to be brainwashed. Suddenly a loud crash sounded as five senshi jumped through the skylight window and landed gracefully on their feet without a scratch.  
  
"We are the FSOA! And in the name of sailor senshi fans everywhere we will punish you!" declared Sailor No Tan.  
  
"Hey where are you by the way?" questioned Rubeus looking all around for the source of the voice.  
  
"Right here! No Tan Pale Peaches Blast!" shouted the invisible Sailor No Tan. Rubeus managed to dodge the attack, but the Pikachu wasn't so lucky. It was hurled into and held to the wall by a sticky mass of pale peaches.  
  
He grabbed a can of deinvisbility powder and threw it everywhere, and unluckily most of it landed directly upon Sailor No Tan causing her to lose her invisibility. He quickly grabbed her, threw her into, and bound her to a chair. He did like so with each of the remaining senshi except without using the deinvisibility powder. Actually he managed to catch all but one senshi and that was Sailor Pyrofreak, for she was the youngest, smallest, and nimblest of all the senshi.  
  
"You're a really bad person!" she said shaking her finger at him. "My mommy says that all people who like Pokemon are gonna go to Hell! She also says that people who like nasty hentai are going to Hell too! So you're gonna get there twice as fast! Unlike me because I'm a good girl who likes Sailor Moon and fiery inferno, which is oh so cool, and listens to my mommy!"  
  
"Shutup kid!" Rubeus shouted as he tried fruitlessly to grab her. Eventually he managed to capture her and bind her. "You're one loudmouth and annoying kid you know that?" he said pointing his finger dangerously close to her mouth. Sailor Pyrofreak replied by biting his finger as hard as she could.  
  
"I'll have you know I'm not a kid! I'm 9 years old and soon to be 10, and my mommy is gonna get you for this! I waaaaaaaaaaant my mommy!" she exclaimed.  
  
Rubeus quickly shoved a gag into her mouth in an attempt to keep her quiet. Suddenly the SKOA reemerged from the brainwashing room and bowed before Rubeus, saying "We await your commands oh great lord of hentai Rubeus."  
  
"Very well then," said Rubeus, "I order you to do kinky things to all the senshi!" "It shall be done," said they replied in unison. Sailor Pyrofreak managed to spit out the gag and as the SKOA started advancing closer to the senshi, she screamed at the top her lungs,  
  
"MOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Her scream was heard all around the world, in all dimensions, and of course by her mother.  
  
"Coming sweetie!" In the blink of an eye she was at the Rubeus's headquarters. She quickly smacked some sense into the SKOA, and returned them to their normal selves. She quickly freed the senshi and then stated in an angry and merciless tone of voice, "I am the mother of Sailor Pyrofreak and I make it my duty to see that my darling little girl and any of her friends are never harmed. And since you were trying to do so, you're going to be punished! In the name of mothers everywhere I will punish you!"  
  
"I don't think so," said Rubeus confidently for he thought not even the mother of Sailor Pyrofreak could defeat him.  
  
"Hentai youma attack!" he shouted, and with the four giant youmas with tenticles advanced towards the senshi and knights and Pyrofreak's mother.  
  
Sailor Pyrofreak's mother just stood calmly and shouted," Killer teddy bear attack!" Suddenly a giant murderous looking teddy bear appeared and pulverized the youma. Rubeus with the odds now against him tried to flee, but only suceeded in running into Sailor Pyrofreak's mother, who grabbed him by his ear and hauled him off to "The Corner". It was a place for all evil villians to learn a good lesson. They were forced to eat vegetables and good wholesome food, watch good wholesome T.V. shows, get along with others, and other things of that nature. Oh, and as for the Pikachu, Pyrofreak's mom took care of it too, she sent it to a labratory to be test specimen. Meanwhile the senshi & knights all detransformed and returned home to a well deserved rest.  
The End


End file.
